As I mentioned on my social media, I got 2 rejection letters recently. I also started reading one of the many writing books I own (how many is too many?). The combination got me thinking about the novel I am currently querying. Questions keep popping into my head, about plot, structure, and so much more. Of all the questions floating around in my stormy brain, the one I keep coming back to is: Is the main character good enough?
Yes. At least I thought so. I wrote an entire story where she was the centre.
Then I started thinking about the sci-fi novella I’m refining. Is that main character good enough?
She’s flawed. She has problems to deal with, internal and external. The story follows her journey to solve the problem threatening her ship. But is her inner journey as good as the external?
Where does the doubt leave me? Stuck. I’m looking at other stories I’m writing (another gothic novel, another sci-fi novella), wondering if they’re good enough. Are the characters I’m creating good enough? Do they need to be re-thought-out? Can I still let them develop as I write (like I’ve done in the past)?
Instead of writing, I’m letting myself become distracted. I sit with my laptop open, not typing anything (except this newsletter/post), wondering if the paths my characters took were the right ones. What if they made different choices? How would that have affected the story? I wonder if the paths my other characters are taking are right. Should I be thinking more about the points mentioned in the book as I’m writing a new draft? I should just write the stories, right? Figure out more about who they are and where they’re going as they move forward in the story and I throw new obstacles at them? Then I can judge… restructure, edit, like I did the previous times.
None of this is a judgement of the book on writing I’m currently reading. Several points the book discusses are already a part of my process. I heard the author speak a couple of years ago and thought her insights were valuable. That’s why I bought the book. It’s not just the book that’s causing this doubt. It’s the rejection letters. Logically, I knew I was going to get them. Even though I LOVE this book and am proud of my gothic novel, I knew that most agents were we going to decline. That’s the reality of what many authors experience.
All artists suffer from doubt, right? Doubt can leave me, you, any writer or creator, stalled. It can close your mind to your project, rethinking projects in your past. How do we get out of the doubt spiral? I’m still working on it.
What I’ve Been Reading:
Kingdom of Ash, by Sarah J. Maas
Save the Cat Writes A Novel, by Jessica Brody
Miasma, by Carrie Ryan
What I’ve Been Watching:
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
The Rookie
Doctor Who
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
What I’ve Been Listening To:
Vitamin String Quartet
Virgin, by Lorde
Learn about the land on which we reside:
Whose Land
Native Land Digital
Querying is super hard on most writers. I feel for you, truly. As you mentioned, this was always going to be a challenging sell. I think it's the length (novella) more so than the content. I've heard that a lot of traditionally published authors didn't sell their first polished story until after they'd written, submitted, and sold their third or fourth book. I wouldn't put any weight on the rejections until after you've received 30. Then, keep sending your queries out, but modify your ideal representative. Maybe submit to some Independent Publishers who are more midsized, rather than via an agent for a chance at a larger house. No matter what, keep writing :) We're always hardest on ourselves. Working with agents and publishers is all about getting the "right" timing... an no one (not even them) know what that is ;)